Sample Sunday | Now + Forever
Coming really soon! 💫
(unedited + subject to change)
Bypassing my thoughts of Maurice was unavoidable. There were things I needed to accomplish in order to efficiently move on from him. Facing him was only the beginning.
“I’ll call you back,” I said.
“Closure is a myth, Moni. Don’t set yourself up to be disappointed,” Hazel said.
Boy was she wrong! I was already disappointed.
Disappointed as ever!
“I’ll call you back,” I promised and disconnected our call quickly thereafter.
I squeezed my phone in my hand as I approached the opening of my bedroom door. Directly across from it was the front door. It was gradually closing in on me, causing the atmosphere and space in my apartment to seem minimal and compact.
When all was still, my racing heart slowed. I inched toward the front door in pain from ignoring his need of me on the other side of it.
Suddenly, a blow to the door startled me. Maurice’s deep baritone blared my name. The defeated resound triggered my heartbeat. It picked up the pace again, knocking against my chest.
His voice was low, emitting like a mumble. My trembling legs hurried to the front door like I was being chased.
The hesitancy that once swarmed me diminished. I’d opened the door before I mentally decided to. My body had forced me ahead, and I’d wrestled with the stubborn doorknob to let him in.
“I need you,” he said. A deep sigh concluded his confession. Maurice entered on his own terms. Pushing me aside gently, he closed the door behind him and secured the locks.
“Maurice. You’re not. We can’t.” I shook my head.
He couldn’t stay. We both knew I wanted him to, but he couldn’t.
I would fall victim to his charm again and we would be right back where we started in no time. Up one minute, and down the next without a clear indication why.
Towering over me, he cupped my face. His light brown eyes roamed over my lips as he swiped his tongue over his own.
I held back from panting.
I tried my hardest not to display how strongly his touch consumed me. Unable to control myself, I reached up to rub his cheek. Maurice’s tensed jawline softened. I combed my fingers through the beautifully groomed beard that covered the lower half of his handsome face.
“I’m so disappointed in you,” he spoke lowly near my ear. His bottom lip grazed my lobe, sending meek chills down my spine.
“Disappointed in me?” I pulled back in awe.
How could he ever be disappointed in the woman who loved him most? In the woman who cherished his very being?
All this talk of disappointment was really starting to get to me. I’d been swarmed with the emotion for months.
It was I who was disappointed in him. I deserved to be disappointed in him.
One of Maurice’s bushy eyebrows rose. His brown skin disregarded my off-putting attitude and reeled me in.
“Why can’t you tell when I need you, Nicole?” He was the only person who could get away with calling me by my middle name. The only man I’d ever openly revealed it to.
“Six years is a long time.” He brushed his hand down his face and chuckled to himself. “Why don’t you know, Nicole?”
‘Six years on and off’,’ I wanted to correct him and say. Our union wasn’t perfect, only worth all the hassle and hard work that kept us striving to make it last forever.